Author Archives: Om

The Story of My Life…

I will keep this short. Cancer was a deer in the headlight look. Remission is a head-on collision with a locomotive; Semi-conscious, I’m in the emergency room, waiting for my turn . Leyman terms: My latest biopsy showed up inconclusive. IN-CON-CLU-SIVE. It’s a big fat “I don’t know” in my face. Guess what our next step is? Another biopsy. Yes, I get to do it AGAIN because my bone/marrow won’t give the experts an inkling of data to reassure my unforgiving frame of mind.

I won’t lie. It is rough. I was never a fan of rocky road ice cream, I’m certainly not thrilled with the bumps and bruises we are going through. The biggest hurdle is finding the right help and support you need. I am not saying there is no offer of help and such; it’s been tremendous. However, when you–yourself–have never experienced this before, the offers of help laid before you become indecipherable and confusing.

So now, the next step in the game plan is to do another biopsy. Hopefully from there, we can finally move onto Plan B–what to do when this comes back. In the meantime, we’re still waiting on the current resident to move on out and let my body be.

Life Happens…

Then, you are told the magic word, ‘Remission.’

Ladies & Gents out there, I am still here.  As Ferris Bueller once said, ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’

Yep, I almost missed it. But Cancer came and paid me a visit. And now, the job’s done.

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I have been spending a bit more time with the family and just remembering the day-to-day things I had missed while ill. It was also a chance for me to have some clarity. This will explain partially why I was MIA from blogging since June.

The other part came from what I now call as my botched procedure (TBL: to be linked). Additionally, the chemotherapy regiment was starting to take a physical toll on my body while maintaining whatever motherly duties I was afforded the pleasure of doing. By the time it was all said and done, another round of spinal chemo, the remainder of my treatment, and it became August.

While Cancer put me in a medical hiatus, Life never stopped. Our 1st grader is now in 2nd grade. Our younger one is over 1 and thinks everything is Mt. Everest to conquer. As I mentioned earlier, a bit more clarity came out of this little detour (quite the detour, I might say) and I am now more determine to see some of these ideas become reality.

I may be in remission but the real journey starts now.

Details: Neulasta shot aftermath or breakthrough pains

This is a belated entry, however, I feel it is important we all know what this is all about. There are folks out there that are wondering, “Am I the only one going through this?” We are talking about pain, specifically pain from the Nuelesta shot and breakthrough pains.

The Nuelesta shot insures your immune system can battle the onset of simple illnesses you may encounter. (Who wants to be bedridden or develop cabin fever?) With any medication, there are downsides to them and this was no exception. As previous posts revealed, it becomes a pain management regiment. You have to wait it out. You lay there helplessly at points; you just want it to end.

The first experience with this shot was more than unpleasant, it was downright freakishly scary. [Remember how I mentioned my fascination for the human mind, here goes…] You are told to have this shot pretty much 24 hours after your chemo to help ‘reboot’ your white blood cells to ensure they correctly combat the bad stuff. The shot itself is a sore arm for a day. Then, chemo fatigue kicks in and on day 3, your life (and those around you) is put on hold–literally. It reminds me of an episode from ‘Tales From The Crypt’; A woman wanted eternal beauty for the public to only be showcased in a macabre musical–with her immobile and guts exposed as she is tearfully wheeled on to center stage. No guts shown here, though I was tearful and immobile, feeling every bone being crushed like Lay’s potato chips. The worse place to feel this was the nasal passage. All the pain medication I had helped little. No one can do anything except sit and wait. This lasted for three days.

At the end, your body is physically worn out from the cancer, chemo in your system and feeling beaten up like the soldier from Full Metal Jacket.

The bright side is, with the support and guidance from our nurse advocate, I was able to avoid this with the following solution:

Claritin-D and Alleve (220 mg) [either 12 or 24 hrs should work.]

NOTE: Specific brand is mandatory. It is not guaranteed that everyone will benefit, but it is worth the try.

I took this the day I am getting the shot and continue on till day 3 of the pain (day 7 from chemo day). The difference is night and day. I function!

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Breakthrough pains are so much fun. They are like a roller coaster ride. You don’t always know when it starts, but you know you’re on a ride. The easier ones are those you can actually feel coming. You are warned and you just brace yourself. There are some that just comes without the warning and again, you brace yourself (and hope you’re not driving or carrying fragile things). The worse ones, however, are the ‘phantom pains.’ These are the sneaky ones and literally brings you to your knees before you know it. There are no bracing for this one, you are physically lifeless at the end of it. People can see the change–zero energy. Rest is the only option.

The bright side is, it does subside and you notice very little, even none, as you continue your chemo treatments. Pain management becomes a routine. Your body tolerates and moves forward.


This is the first week where I have been feeling almost like myself before cancer. The medications, aches and exhaustion reminds me otherwise.

I will keep this short since I do have drafts of other blog entries to write: I am fine, for now. Trying to play catch up and organizing things before the next chemotherapy, as well, my kids’ birthdays are in the middle of all this. (Disneyland, you better make me happy.) There have been events in the past few weeks I will go into detail as soon as I can. A 1-year old loves to explore and I must tend to that first. As well, rest has become a mandatory requirement for me if I want to “get well.”

Thank you for your patience. I hope all had some wonderful holidays along the way. Who would have thought that summer is already here and how I wish for my 1st grader to have another 2 more weeks of school. Peace out.


Back logged on blog entries. Been busy in and out of hospitals, consciousness and pain. Three weeks of silence makes it only worrisome or dandy as daisies. It was both. Then sudden derailment, but we are going to get through this. As Gloria Gaynor belts out (as all karaokeans sings along), “I will survive!”  [Cue strings section]